Both Barrels

Click here to listen to songs from the show in mp3 format.

Click here to see some of John Forster’s lyrics.

And another lyric from the show:

“One Billion Little Emperors”
from Both Barrels: A Salvo of John Forster Songs

Now renamed A Good Swift Kick (currently closed)

In circa nineteen seventy
Our chairman made the policy
Of just one child per family
On pain of sterilization.

Now several decades later, we
Have unsurpassed prosperity.
Why? Because we’re such a special, special, special nation… of

One billion only children,
Each a golden treasure house of worth,
Each the most important human being on earth.

One billion little emperors, our parents’ precious jewels
One billion kids whose ball it is so you’ve got to play by our rules.
You could call us self-confident, or tell the truth and say
We’ll hold our breath and bite someone if we don’t get our way.

We wanted Tibet. We got it.
We wanted Hong Kong. We got it.
And now we really, really want Taiwan.

One billion only children,
Each a golden treasure house of worth,
Each the most important human being on earth.

One billion little emperors, from Deng Xiao Ping to (???not sure of text here:) Heart (???)
He said it’s glorious to grow rich and we plan to play our part.
We’re serious and competitive
We’ve got the stuff we need: a magical mix of Mao and Marx, and capitalistic greed.

We don’t care much about human rights.
We don’t care much about copyrights.
We don’t care much about any rights but our own.

One billion only children,
82% of whom are guys.
The girls have been adopted and now live in Van Nuys.

That’s why we’re so arrogant, and selfish and obtuse. Our question to America is: What’s your excuse?